Embrace Your Relationship – Haiku for Controlling Anger – Expressing Emotions – Treasure Your Life Now v8-21

by Sheila Finkelstein on June 7, 2012

Today’s issue of Treasure Your Life Now looks at communication in our relationships and opportunities for shifting out of negative states. We will also see a demonstration of the possibilities that can open up when “playing,” adding relaxation and fun to what’s happening in the moment.

If you are a woman, married or single, and looking for more romance in your relationship, be sure to check out the special offer on the Lifelong Romance Retreat at which I will be an exhibitor on June 23rd. (after the Tips)

Today’s Photos and Story –

harsh words Haiku on photo imageGoing through some old papers the other day, I found one of the numerous Haikus I had written six and seven years ago when I was experiencing a great deal of anger at how Parkinson’s Disease was affecting my beloved Sam.

“Harsh and Brittle Words
Destroy Do No Move Forward
Breathe Deep Love Clears All”

©Sheila Finkelstein 3/23/06

During that period, I discovered Haiku to be a creative way of gaining control of my anger and other emotions. This form of writing consists of 3 lines – 5 syllables, 7 syllables, then 5 syllables again.

The words would come, sometimes describing feelings. Other times the words were about what was happening. After three lines, I would stop and count the syllables in each of them. This became something I COULD control and change. The process also created an almost immediate shift in how I was feeling.

Impressed with the importance of the above Haiku words, I put the paper aside to create a visually appealing photo/message. I planned to join in the words and picture posts that are currently being highly circulated in Facebook. I had no idea what the visual background for the words would be. Then yesterday a photo image showed up.

Sitting in a dental chair yesterday, waiting for the dental assistant to come back, I pulled out my iPhone and took a photograph looking out the window.

View from the window while in dental office chair

Then when the assistant was called away for another minute or two, I started playing with Effects in Photo Studio, one of my iPhone apps.

window view altered with effect from Photo Studio iphone app


greyed out view out window using Photo Studio app for iPhone

view from dental chair created as background panel using Photo Studio iPhone app

The final image resulted from yet one more iPhone photo app that I used.

Important Note – Although I was using the Haiku process for controlling anger, you can certainly be using it to express love; to help you find the words that, perhaps, you don’t think are there.

Today’s Relationship Tip -Though not planned, as such, this week’s,”No Harsh Words. Think Before You Speak” is certainly a follow up to last week’s. So important, I’m repeating it here this week:

Before you speak, pause, take a deep breath and THINK! Is what you are about to say True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?

It’s especially important to refrain from “spitting out” those “instantaneous response words” if you are upset. If you feel any kind of agitation, pause, take a slow deep breath in, imaging and feeling LOVE. Hold your breath to the count of four. Then slowly exhale. Do this at least three times.

And, if you need more, grab a pen and paper (keep a small, spiral bound notebook handy). Write out the words and phrases that are sputtering around in your head. Then start counting syllables. Break them down into 5, 7, 5 syllable lines. It’s as simple as that

Remember also that there are many filters, so to speak, interpretations with which you can “layer” the situation. Just as in the above photos, which do you prefer for your life situations – the original? the vivid colors? the greyed? or the abstract, muted out? How can you play?

As always have fun and please post your experience in the Comments Section below. If you write some Haiku you’d like to share, please post it there. I and other readers would love to see it.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Shayla June 7, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Sheila! Sweetheart, your newsletter is such a treat! I feel such healing affects! Yes! for me and for the world. We’ve all been at the dentist looking out the window. Creativity and healing happen anywhere, EVERYWHERE! Another demonstration strengthens my conviction. Thank you!


Sheila Finkelstein June 7, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Thanks so much, Shayla. I appreciate your enthusiastic response and letting me know that my work is making a difference for you. And, it’s great to see your smiling face in your avatar.

BTW – You’ve been blessed if all your dental chairs have had window views. Not so in my long history of dental work.


Grace Pedulla Dillon June 7, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Good stuff, Sheila! My husband and I always hope others will find what we have found in our relationship. We’ve been incredibly blessed for every effort we put into nurturing our marriage/friendship/love.
Warm regards,



Sheila Finkelstein July 31, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Ah, Grace. How beautiful! It’s great that you point out you put “effort” into “nurturing” and, I suspect, it’s mostly “effortless” now.

Thanks for sharing here.


Grace Pedulla Dillon August 2, 2012 at 9:36 am

Oh yes, it is MOSTLY effortless now. In the last forty years we have formed some really good habits. One habit is to say “thank you” to each other. It just verbalizes appreciation to one another.


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